I was in the city
looking in a charity shop for some books to give as presents
and found a CARSON MC’CULLERS
THE HEART IS A LONLEY HUNTER for £1
which is something I want to give to all my family and fiends so
had to get it.
and as walked to counter
felt a huge surge down below
a very much liquid diarrhoea surge
and
walked in a very amusing way to counter
and preyed they could serve me at once
so as I could go to toilet
and they did
and had on trousers I noticed showed any
kind of wetness up immediately
and glaringly
and wondered what hell would do if shit pants
and how embarrassing it would be.
so stood at side of counter
holding legs together
preying I could keep it in
until book and receipt were given to me.
I kind of ran after that to the nearest gents
five minutes away.
I could use.
and felt angry when people got in my way.
someone noticed the anxious look on my face
and I looked at them
and thought
Christ I never hope you feel like I do.
people seemed to be acting like they were
out for a Sunday stroll
even though it was a dull Saturday, at least for some.
and I felt like I was just about to
shit self
with the wrong sort of pants on
that show it all up, big time,
like a poster boy.
it was kind of about honour , I thought
and how could I show my face up
in this town again
if had shit myself very publicly.
I preyed a toilet would be vacant
and one seemed to
it was closed
I preyed there was not someone in there
who had forgotten to close the door.
pulled down my easy to see if liquid has been spilled on them pants
and preyed I was in time.
the pulling down of the easy to see if you have shit yourself pants
caused a chain reaction
and it started coming out
liquid style
and I preyed it would not make it to the trousers
that were easy to wear
comfort linen pants that showed up big time if you shit yourself.
I’d thought when putting them on
hope I don’t shit myself today !
or it will really show
and had had diarrhoea problems since taking up
drink as a hobby.
the dark liquid poured into my knickers
and the floor
and the walls
and the toilet
and everywhere
it was like an atom bomb
or just a bomb
or me maybe deciding humanity was not really for me.
I again preyed don’t hit the trousers
and looked down
my knickers were covered in a brown slim of smelly liquid
my shoes
my coat
my belt
and everywhere.
my easy to spot diarrhoea sufferer trousers
thankfully had seemed to be spared
apart from at the back but I figured my longish winter coat
if I got all wrapped up
would cover that mess up.
so I thought their must be a god
and hoped it was a woman
as most men and I definitely stunk
when we had bad days out.
in out of hospital.
and I kind of wished for hospital and not public humiliation.
with my mental health issues and my long standing drinking hobby.
I started clearing up
it was at the back of the toilet everywhere
and I was saying oh fecking shit
under my breathe
and hoped the toilet paper would last
and know one would hear me swearing
as I did not agree with it.
after I tried to clean up
I figured my knickers were un wearable
and could not work out how I would take them
off and put them in bin outside without being seen.
if I wore them they would colour the easy to see if
you have shit yourself pants
a shity colour.
something had to be done
you have to think quick like a spitfire pilot under attack by nazi scum.
I worked out that I had to get my shoes off and then easily to see if you have
shit yourself comfort linen trousers.
ten you could maybe get the very wet dribbling diarrhoea pants off.
I worked out that I would need to clean all the shit up from the floor
in order to stop the shit from transferring to my trousers
when I pulled them down and off.
but I could not work out how
I would carry the knickers to the bin without being seen or smelled
subversion I thought
trick them or maybe some form of subliminal hypnosis.
then a voice let out
you had an accident ?
yes , I replied but I don’t really want to discuss it in a public environment.
I’ll give you some spray and extra toilet paper
thanks I said
I sure do appreciate that
and I had run out of toilet paper a long time ago
so figured this could be a way forward.
he threw them over the toilet door
over the locked prison I was in.
and said make sure you clean it all up.
yes I have cleaned most of it up I said
already.
my body’s giving up I thought !
nothings working right even though I took drink up as a hobby
because everyone ignores me.
the blood puke the getting banned from some locals, the toilet problem
that can not spoke off.
I must be cursed I thought
he’s telling me have I had an accident like I was a two year old
not able to hold anything in.
this feels like regressing I thought.
over the locked prison I was in.
and said make sure you clean it up.
I did what I had to do
the front of the linen trousers were stained a little
but I figure3d the winter coat would hide the stains.
I wondered if after this I could have a coffee
without someone smelling.
I had come up with a plan
about the knickers
wrap them in toilet paper
then people may not realise they were shit covered knickers.
maybe if I did it quick I thought
people would not see.
so I cleaned up with the spray goodness
and wrapped the knickers in white toilet paper
I figured it would take me 15 seconds to make it to the bin.
I went out like a French resistance fighter thinking don’t see my dirty pants
and someone came by and
I am not sure if they saw my shit pants
and I put them into the bin
and remembered the message given to me from over the toilet door
don’t forget to clean your hands after.
and washed my hands several times.
-Baz (one of the minor saints)
looking in a charity shop for some books to give as presents
and found a CARSON MC’CULLERS
THE HEART IS A LONLEY HUNTER for £1
which is something I want to give to all my family and fiends so
had to get it.
and as walked to counter
felt a huge surge down below
a very much liquid diarrhoea surge
and
walked in a very amusing way to counter
and preyed they could serve me at once
so as I could go to toilet
and they did
and had on trousers I noticed showed any
kind of wetness up immediately
and glaringly
and wondered what hell would do if shit pants
and how embarrassing it would be.
so stood at side of counter
holding legs together
preying I could keep it in
until book and receipt were given to me.
I kind of ran after that to the nearest gents
five minutes away.
I could use.
and felt angry when people got in my way.
someone noticed the anxious look on my face
and I looked at them
and thought
Christ I never hope you feel like I do.
people seemed to be acting like they were
out for a Sunday stroll
even though it was a dull Saturday, at least for some.
and I felt like I was just about to
shit self
with the wrong sort of pants on
that show it all up, big time,
like a poster boy.
it was kind of about honour , I thought
and how could I show my face up
in this town again
if had shit myself very publicly.
I preyed a toilet would be vacant
and one seemed to
it was closed
I preyed there was not someone in there
who had forgotten to close the door.
pulled down my easy to see if liquid has been spilled on them pants
and preyed I was in time.
the pulling down of the easy to see if you have shit yourself pants
caused a chain reaction
and it started coming out
liquid style
and I preyed it would not make it to the trousers
that were easy to wear
comfort linen pants that showed up big time if you shit yourself.
I’d thought when putting them on
hope I don’t shit myself today !
or it will really show
and had had diarrhoea problems since taking up
drink as a hobby.
the dark liquid poured into my knickers
and the floor
and the walls
and the toilet
and everywhere
it was like an atom bomb
or just a bomb
or me maybe deciding humanity was not really for me.
I again preyed don’t hit the trousers
and looked down
my knickers were covered in a brown slim of smelly liquid
my shoes
my coat
my belt
and everywhere.
my easy to spot diarrhoea sufferer trousers
thankfully had seemed to be spared
apart from at the back but I figured my longish winter coat
if I got all wrapped up
would cover that mess up.
so I thought their must be a god
and hoped it was a woman
as most men and I definitely stunk
when we had bad days out.
in out of hospital.
and I kind of wished for hospital and not public humiliation.
with my mental health issues and my long standing drinking hobby.
I started clearing up
it was at the back of the toilet everywhere
and I was saying oh fecking shit
under my breathe
and hoped the toilet paper would last
and know one would hear me swearing
as I did not agree with it.
after I tried to clean up
I figured my knickers were un wearable
and could not work out how I would take them
off and put them in bin outside without being seen.
if I wore them they would colour the easy to see if
you have shit yourself pants
a shity colour.
something had to be done
you have to think quick like a spitfire pilot under attack by nazi scum.
I worked out that I had to get my shoes off and then easily to see if you have
shit yourself comfort linen trousers.
ten you could maybe get the very wet dribbling diarrhoea pants off.
I worked out that I would need to clean all the shit up from the floor
in order to stop the shit from transferring to my trousers
when I pulled them down and off.
but I could not work out how
I would carry the knickers to the bin without being seen or smelled
subversion I thought
trick them or maybe some form of subliminal hypnosis.
then a voice let out
you had an accident ?
yes , I replied but I don’t really want to discuss it in a public environment.
I’ll give you some spray and extra toilet paper
thanks I said
I sure do appreciate that
and I had run out of toilet paper a long time ago
so figured this could be a way forward.
he threw them over the toilet door
over the locked prison I was in.
and said make sure you clean it all up.
yes I have cleaned most of it up I said
already.
my body’s giving up I thought !
nothings working right even though I took drink up as a hobby
because everyone ignores me.
the blood puke the getting banned from some locals, the toilet problem
that can not spoke off.
I must be cursed I thought
he’s telling me have I had an accident like I was a two year old
not able to hold anything in.
this feels like regressing I thought.
over the locked prison I was in.
and said make sure you clean it up.
I did what I had to do
the front of the linen trousers were stained a little
but I figure3d the winter coat would hide the stains.
I wondered if after this I could have a coffee
without someone smelling.
I had come up with a plan
about the knickers
wrap them in toilet paper
then people may not realise they were shit covered knickers.
maybe if I did it quick I thought
people would not see.
so I cleaned up with the spray goodness
and wrapped the knickers in white toilet paper
I figured it would take me 15 seconds to make it to the bin.
I went out like a French resistance fighter thinking don’t see my dirty pants
and someone came by and
I am not sure if they saw my shit pants
and I put them into the bin
and remembered the message given to me from over the toilet door
don’t forget to clean your hands after.
and washed my hands several times.
-Baz (one of the minor saints)
