She was a rubber love doll with a fake bake glow and blow fish lips
Survived on hand me down smiles and garbage tips
Hers is a story you're unlikely to read
A sordid reminder of Vegas TV
Her leather zipped hips straddle the night
With a pay me -now viper- slut scowl
She had grunge hot hair
And a Kitten whipped stare
Lured them in a black lust bin of promises and cheap for ever afters of no where lines
And white ride highs
Where dreams were stapled with 20 dollar bills
Giggle back chat and stranger's thrills
Butchering her soul with slussy pride
Crimson thumbs crawling inside
A dirty buck and ball
Made her beg made her fall
She stayed on the game her eyes bleeding with shame
Too broken for hope
Rocked blue blue on dope
Watching the rain -melt away the pain -of a 50 buck squeeze
With pimp -daddy ease
Miss homecoming queen 2009
You lost your rainbow
And I lost mine.
Stripper heels a bottle of Jack and Kurt Cobain on rewind
Dust balls line the wooden floors with gauzy trails of powdered sorrow
The window panes rooted with yesterday's hope beaten with raindrops
Falling like glassy beads of nausea.
Tears that curdle the tongue of the dawn
It's a day you wish had never come veiled with dwarfing optimism
The snake pit of misery frames the face of tomorrow
All you have is nothing and that's too vast to believe in.
Doll on 54th
Nikki was a five and dime hustler. She had a fake-bake glow, red fish lips, and the
kind of hips that can straddle a 6 foot mobster on ice. Her dreams stapled with 20 dollar
bills and those cheap throwaway thrills a man gets when he feels lonely.
“So what’s it gonna be?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never done this before.”
“$20 buys you a blow job and $100 takes you to heaven’s door.”
“Well I guess that’s the closest I’ll get to heaven’s door.”
They left the curb and Nikki sat in the passenger seat flicking her blonde hair and
chewing gum at the same time.
“Can I ask why you’re out here so late?”
“You can ask but I’m not telling.”
Guys like these scared Nikki the most. They were closed and out of control. She’d
been lucky so far, nothing serious, just a few bruises and a busted mouth.
“Just sayin’ it’s pretty late is all.”
“Yeah well, I’m paying for your time so your ass is mine.” He leant closer to her
staring at her thighs and her awkward blue stilettos. They were a little large for her and
she had stuffed them with paper. It didn’t show but her feet were hammered raw.
“You wanna smoke?”
“No I’m good.”
He lit up a cigarette and drew in deep his eyes locked on her blouse. It was tight and
stressed the curve of her breasts, leaving a nipple imprint on the material, which turned
“We’ll pull up after the next lights.”
Nikki could feel him undressing her – it made her wanna puke. She reached down and
fiddled with the strap of her shoe, revealing the tattoo on the nape of her neck, a rose with
the petals trailing her shoulders. She looked up. They were in a deserted mall.
“I come here sometimes when I need to be alone. I work over there.”
Great, just what she needed, a fucking mall clerk.
He stared at her with a dead lust, the kind that feeds evil.
“Take off your shirt – do it slowly.”
Nikki unbuttoned her blouse, trailing her open lips with her fingers, faking a smile.
She was play-bunny cute. Just as she was about to reveal her breast, he leant forward and
kissed her hard on the neck. It made her shudder. He tasted good so good, Nikki felt
bad. He pulled her by the hair and lifted her face to his, inches away, then locked his lips
on hers spreading her legs wide with his hand. She gasped, the heat was intense. As they
lay wrapped in each others orbit for what seemed like an age, Nikki opened her eyes to
find the man had vanished and in his place was some kind of creature with hooves and a
male torso. She screamed and tried to kick him away:
“Jesus Christ – what is this – who are you? Get off of me, get off me now.”
Terrified, she struck at him and tried to pull away. He looked at her and leant back into
“You’re only tripping,” he cruised. “This will all be forgotten in ten minutes flat.”
“What, so now you talk, what are you, I mean Jesus Christ.”
“I’m just your imagination, I don’t exist.”
Nikki was freaking. The car door was open, she got out and started clipping the car
park, her heels scraping the ground with a noisy clack. She dug her phone out of her
purse and tried dialing 911 but the keys got jammed. The car lay still with the hoof man
Got to get out of here, Jesus was I tripping! I don’t know, like I did take some blow
She checked her watch: it was almost five a.m. Ari her pimp would be calling soon.
Maybe I should just wait until Ari calls. The car’s still there and no one’s come after
Then it started, a creeping asphyxiating feeling all over her body.
“I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.” Her mottled cries turning the pavements red with
fear. She staggered to the ground, her head falling to one side and her body limp.
That night it rained for five hours straight, but the morning brought a freshness to the
city that made it seem new. A little girl and her mother were shopping for groceries.
While loading the SUV the child spied a plastic doll on the tarmac.
“Stop mommy, look – see look it’s a doll, mommy, a doll without a home.” In her
hand a macabre looking toy with bright red lips and yellow hair. It wore mini blue
stilettos and a short tight skirt and on its Barbie style body, a rose tattoo intricately
stenciled across its shoulders.
“Oh Catherine, it’s cute but it’s not ours. She doesn’t belong to us.”
“Please mom please, can I take her home?”
“I don’t know sweetie, she looks awful messed up, and those clothes and that strange
tattoo. . . .”
“I’ll change her outfit when I get back and make her pretty again.”
“Well okay, but no tattoos and short skirts for you, Catherine, nothing good ever
comes out of short skirts and tattoos!”
The child picked up the doll and placed it on the back seat. It was going to be a long