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Nick Romeo - 5 poems

2/16/2016

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Picture
1.True Story

if you place
your life
in a box
shake it up
a cat will emerge
2. The Robot

he was at the bar every day, drink in hand
      hard-wired, programmed 
            to be the life of the party
6’-5, all chrome, titanium 
      he processed a magnetism 
            that was felt by so many people       
especially the women on his arm

one woman pulled his lever

     and hundred dollar bills  
           flew out of his mouth
another lady turned his knob
     and his eyes rolled like a slot machine
           then sparked, flashed
that night’s winning lottery number

he unscrewed his finger
     and poured everyone a shot
           then hit the dance floor
he did “The Robot” down a “Soul Train line.”
     while they chanted,
           “Go Robot Go,”
his moves were smooth, well-oiled

with a snap of his fingers
     the music went static
           all movements froze
tired of the rock classics
     he twisted his wrist
          the music switched
to Industrial, Aggrotech

the dancing resumed with The Robot in the middle
     where he unleashed a break dance "Head Spin"
          an act of art and science
the vortex he created
     threw people off their feet
           and flung debris
the spinning increased, momentum swelled

everyone grabbed hold as the floor broke open
     he made a spiral decent
           like a giant cork screw through butter
when the bar settled, and people gathered themselves
     they realized The Robot has disappeared
           then the women cried,
“Where is our sexy machine”

several theories regarding his whereabouts exist:
1. he hit an aquifer and rusted
2. he entered a wormhole and transported to an unknown dimension
3. this was all a setup to enter the “witness protection program”
4. he went to China

nevertheless he will be missed
     by many friends
           and fans
each year the bar holds a vigil
     they light candles, retell stories,
           and have live bands
the festival lasts several weeks

the bar adopted his image as their brand
     t-shirts and beer steins are for sale
           in the gift shop and online
an annual “Miss Robot Pageant” is held
     after the bikini paint ball competition      
           the champion is crowned
and given the envied embroidered sash

the proceeds go to The Robot Foundation
     for inventions to benefit humanity
           such as, sound activated lingerie with LEDs

***

3. Battery

The alarm detonates
     In my skull
Spurring sunlight
     To punch my face

I fall out

     Into the bathroom
Into the kitchen
     Crashing into the clothes
I laid out the night before
     
     Near the coffee maker I calibrated
To erupt simultaneously
     Within this disaster area


Supercharged jet fuel
     With color & consistency
           Of the La Brea Tar Pits
Dispensed intravenously
           Into my neck

An attempt to reverse the Benadryl
     Melatonin
           Warm milk
Mixed with ZzzQuil & whiskey

Compensating for a bed of gravel
    Pillow of nails
Dreams of doppelgängers gnawing my face
     
I down my breakfast:
     Cardboard-flavored power shake

I pack up my lunch:
     Overripe cold cuts on stale bread
           With a moldy apple

I’m ready to go
     (I’m already late)
     
To the windowless dungeon
     So I can be put in stocks
And flogged for nine hours

Keys, wallet, cell phone,
     Along with yesterday’s mail
           And several poems
I’m reworking

     Thrown into my backpack
Thrown onto my back
      Thrown into the car
           Along with myself

I turn the key

     I try again

Battery is dead

***
4. 
Going Vegan

"it's a moot point"
said the cow to the pig
as they watched
the farmer polish his knife

***
5. Dear Customer Care Specialist

Don’t put me on hold,
or transfer this call again.
I have hostages.


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