Starman, who is one of the last living super heroes, and who's location remains unknown ("somewhere below the equator, above the sun"), sent the following letter.
did I ever tell you about the time
So here I am playing cards with God! I suppose your curious as to how I ended up here. Blame it on poor road signs, detours due to construction compiled with a general lack of a sense of direction. Or blame it on Will. Yeah, you know, Will. God´s right hand man. We have all heard of Will and of his immense strength and power. His earnest desire to do His bidding.
Anyhow, upon arriving, I’m taken aback at seeing how young He looks. I think I can even detect a pimple erupting on his nose, (I’m talking adolescence here). When I comment on his youthful appearance, He gets defensive and in what can only be described as a BOOMING VOICE
He shouts
ALL OF YOU. (I interrupt here, asking " all of who?") HUMANITY! YOU THINK I’M THIS ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING, PERFECT PIECE OF WORK.
Well, personally, I never really actually thought of Him that way,or any other way. But seeing how He obviously had something to get off His chest, I play along.
...continues to shout
GOD-DAMMIT( my eyes pop at His choice of words), I’M JUST STRUGGLING LIKE THE REST OF YOU! LEARNING AS I GO ALONG (on-the-job training, so that´s where that clever idea originated)
...never shuts up
WHO SAYS PERFECTION CAN’T EVOLVE? TELL ME WHERE IT SAYS THAT IN THE BIBLE? (He had me there, myself not being much of an expert on the Good Book).
...seems to need to vent some more
AND ALL THOSE PRAYERS. CONSTANTLY ARRIVING SIMULTANEOUSLY. DIFFERENT LANGUAGES, WHISPERED, MURMURED, EVEN SHOUTED
OH GOD, MY GOD...
LET ME WIN THE LOTTERY (I bet he gets that one all the time).
MAKE MY CHILD WELL
I NEED HER TO LOVE ME
COULD WE HAVE STEAK TONIGHT?
PLEASE LET IT BE YOUR WILL TO MAKE THIS BITCH PREGNANT (hmm, some of them even say please).
I detect, I can see, He’s in sort of a frenzy. You know, one of those Act of God" moods; tornado-twisting, earth-shaking, hurricane havoc, wild-fire rampages that He goes on, every now and then. We continue to play cards. I get up to go to the fridge, (silently praying to find some beer, and bring two back for us.) He chugs his then crushes the can, effortlessly (Show-off). This time I deal, seeing how, He is too stressed to even shuffle the deck.
Deuces Wild, I call. (By the way, I lost my shirt). Did you really think He could play without cheating? Wouldn't you?
did I ever tell you about the time
So here I am playing cards with God! I suppose your curious as to how I ended up here. Blame it on poor road signs, detours due to construction compiled with a general lack of a sense of direction. Or blame it on Will. Yeah, you know, Will. God´s right hand man. We have all heard of Will and of his immense strength and power. His earnest desire to do His bidding.
Anyhow, upon arriving, I’m taken aback at seeing how young He looks. I think I can even detect a pimple erupting on his nose, (I’m talking adolescence here). When I comment on his youthful appearance, He gets defensive and in what can only be described as a BOOMING VOICE
He shouts
ALL OF YOU. (I interrupt here, asking " all of who?") HUMANITY! YOU THINK I’M THIS ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING, PERFECT PIECE OF WORK.
Well, personally, I never really actually thought of Him that way,or any other way. But seeing how He obviously had something to get off His chest, I play along.
...continues to shout
GOD-DAMMIT( my eyes pop at His choice of words), I’M JUST STRUGGLING LIKE THE REST OF YOU! LEARNING AS I GO ALONG (on-the-job training, so that´s where that clever idea originated)
...never shuts up
WHO SAYS PERFECTION CAN’T EVOLVE? TELL ME WHERE IT SAYS THAT IN THE BIBLE? (He had me there, myself not being much of an expert on the Good Book).
...seems to need to vent some more
AND ALL THOSE PRAYERS. CONSTANTLY ARRIVING SIMULTANEOUSLY. DIFFERENT LANGUAGES, WHISPERED, MURMURED, EVEN SHOUTED
OH GOD, MY GOD...
LET ME WIN THE LOTTERY (I bet he gets that one all the time).
MAKE MY CHILD WELL
I NEED HER TO LOVE ME
COULD WE HAVE STEAK TONIGHT?
PLEASE LET IT BE YOUR WILL TO MAKE THIS BITCH PREGNANT (hmm, some of them even say please).
I detect, I can see, He’s in sort of a frenzy. You know, one of those Act of God" moods; tornado-twisting, earth-shaking, hurricane havoc, wild-fire rampages that He goes on, every now and then. We continue to play cards. I get up to go to the fridge, (silently praying to find some beer, and bring two back for us.) He chugs his then crushes the can, effortlessly (Show-off). This time I deal, seeing how, He is too stressed to even shuffle the deck.
Deuces Wild, I call. (By the way, I lost my shirt). Did you really think He could play without cheating? Wouldn't you?
