American Noir
By Gustave Rivera
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"Oh, the French girl, she’s in paradise and a drunken man is at the wheel
Hunger pays a heavy price to the falling gods of speed and steel"
-Bob Dylan, "Dark Eyes"
Hunger pays a heavy price to the falling gods of speed and steel"
-Bob Dylan, "Dark Eyes"
introduction
The gun lays on the table. The gun is neither right or wrong. The gun is cold and it is gleaming. It is loaded (maybe). A maybe loaded gun on the table. You pick it up and hold it in the palm of your hand like you would a small and broken bird.
You think: “It's so small.”
You think: “I will nurse you back to life.”
You think: “Pretty birdy birdy.”
The gun lays on the table. The gun is neither right or wrong. The gun is cold and it is gleaming. It is loaded (maybe). A maybe loaded gun on the table. You pick it up and hold it in the palm of your hand like you would a small and broken bird.
You think: “It's so small.”
You think: “I will nurse you back to life.”
You think: “Pretty birdy birdy.”
a kind of prologue
America is the place. When you sleep I lean in real close until I can smell you. In that closeness. Can smell your dreaming. I want to be close to your dreaming. My face fills the entire screen. I place my fingertips on your eyelids affecting your dreams in different ways. If you are dreaming about horses you will feel me in that heaviness. The sky is falling darling, a hurried step in your gallop. If you are dreaming the dream that is America I am the little man who sweeps all the gutters raw. If you are dreaming the dream that is America now remember me. I am the woman on the corner with her bag of groceries edging closer. Everyone is innocent and that too will pass.
America is the place. When you sleep I lean in real close until I can smell you. In that closeness. Can smell your dreaming. I want to be close to your dreaming. My face fills the entire screen. I place my fingertips on your eyelids affecting your dreams in different ways. If you are dreaming about horses you will feel me in that heaviness. The sky is falling darling, a hurried step in your gallop. If you are dreaming the dream that is America I am the little man who sweeps all the gutters raw. If you are dreaming the dream that is America now remember me. I am the woman on the corner with her bag of groceries edging closer. Everyone is innocent and that too will pass.
today killed yesterday and shoved it into the trunk of its car and drove out to the city limits and never looked back
The weird looking mole on the back of your thigh is the same weird looking mole on my left shoulder blade. We could be sisters. You say: "You can know a man's flaws from the cereal he eats and the ideal time for time-travel is always one minute past midnight."
Can you hear my screams in between the lines? And all moments come all at once and take no hostages. There is an eternity there and sometimes it is the opposite of an eternity. An old woman's unwrinkled handkerchief. A box full of shoelaces. Drug money.
Standing in this spot I will always be closer to the sun than you.
The weird looking mole on the back of your thigh is the same weird looking mole on my left shoulder blade. We could be sisters. You say: "You can know a man's flaws from the cereal he eats and the ideal time for time-travel is always one minute past midnight."
Can you hear my screams in between the lines? And all moments come all at once and take no hostages. There is an eternity there and sometimes it is the opposite of an eternity. An old woman's unwrinkled handkerchief. A box full of shoelaces. Drug money.
Standing in this spot I will always be closer to the sun than you.
on that treacherous road to Atlantis again
I still have all my teeth and remain hopeful. Ever since I was born I've been predicting apocalypses.
“This is the one!” I said when I was born. “This is the one!” I said when I died.
Everything is predictable. I am never wrong. Everything is predictable.
We're embarking on that treacherous road to Atlantis again.
I still have all my teeth and remain hopeful. Ever since I was born I've been predicting apocalypses.
“This is the one!” I said when I was born. “This is the one!” I said when I died.
Everything is predictable. I am never wrong. Everything is predictable.
We're embarking on that treacherous road to Atlantis again.
here in the dark, here in the dark
When you laugh I place my hand on your leg. When you laugh your leg becomes a wonderfully alive-dead thing of beauty and I put my hand on it to let it know I understand. And to comfort it. I want to magnify your leg a thousand times and give it one random kiss so that nobody would ever be able to find it. I want to whisper to your leg: “Your are monstrous thing full of one-ness and possibility. Full of awesomeness.” Your leg says: “Don't be fucking cute.”
It's true, your leg is awesome but it also hurts feelings.
When you laugh I place my hand on your leg. When you laugh your leg becomes a wonderfully alive-dead thing of beauty and I put my hand on it to let it know I understand. And to comfort it. I want to magnify your leg a thousand times and give it one random kiss so that nobody would ever be able to find it. I want to whisper to your leg: “Your are monstrous thing full of one-ness and possibility. Full of awesomeness.” Your leg says: “Don't be fucking cute.”
It's true, your leg is awesome but it also hurts feelings.
that thing in Jaws when the camera zooms one way and moves the other
The next time you laugh I will claw myself through the little hole in this page and into your room. It is true that you are reading this right now. It is not true that I am standing behind you (don't look). Am not leaning in (to smell your hair).
No don't look. It's a kind of portal. You'll know it when you
The next time you laugh I will claw myself through the little hole in this page and into your room. It is true that you are reading this right now. It is not true that I am standing behind you (don't look). Am not leaning in (to smell your hair).
No don't look. It's a kind of portal. You'll know it when you
on the popular costume drama
Today I heard a man say: “I want my suicide to be a real accident, like falling out of a conspicuous window at some high-level business meeting on a Wednesday.” I wanted to ask what he meant by “conspicuous window”. I thought maybe we could become good friends. Before I could say anything he paid for his hotdog and left. I am nothing.
Today I heard a man say: “I want my suicide to be a real accident, like falling out of a conspicuous window at some high-level business meeting on a Wednesday.” I wanted to ask what he meant by “conspicuous window”. I thought maybe we could become good friends. Before I could say anything he paid for his hotdog and left. I am nothing.
my favorite movie of all time is not (never) The Crying Game
You can replace all these words with my name, it's OK. You can hit my face until it looks more like yours. My words is my face. This is my face. And this. My face knows a terrible grimace. Go on. Hit my face.
You can replace all these words with my name, it's OK. You can hit my face until it looks more like yours. My words is my face. This is my face. And this. My face knows a terrible grimace. Go on. Hit my face.
apropos severed-head syndrome
When you hold my head in your lap and run your fingers through its hair as if to say “one day soon my dear” and my head nods as if to say “that's the spot, yeah.”
And one day jumping will seem like standing still. And one day standing still will be the only illusion trick.
Am doing it right now?
A man says: "The credits at the end of the movie is my back story."
Shine to time my is this. I am perfectly rewindable.
When you hold my head in your lap and run your fingers through its hair as if to say “one day soon my dear” and my head nods as if to say “that's the spot, yeah.”
And one day jumping will seem like standing still. And one day standing still will be the only illusion trick.
Am doing it right now?
A man says: "The credits at the end of the movie is my back story."
Shine to time my is this. I am perfectly rewindable.
now in real-time
Beware of my slow, rising shadow.
On the other side, of the shower curtain.
Beware of my slow, rising shadow.
On the other side, of the shower curtain.
shaky real thing
When you first see me I will be standing on the steps blowing bubbles that my daughter (whose real name's rhymes must remain hidden) is catching and destroying with her small hands. My daughter who says the world's best word “wow” over and over and without shame and laughs an old laugh that is always new.
When you first see me I will be standing on the steps blowing bubbles that my daughter (whose real name's rhymes must remain hidden) is catching and destroying with her small hands. My daughter who says the world's best word “wow” over and over and without shame and laughs an old laugh that is always new.
Norwegian death-metal, the soundtrack
I have been known to climb into fountains and drown dramatically confessing a great undying love. Dramatically is my cue. To belong often means just keep going. Hello. I'm in the kitchen, opening a lettuce head right down the middle. Don't be afraid. A lettuce head is not a dead rabbit and I will not try to seduce you with looks and then chop you into little pieces and eat you.
When I look in the mirror I always feel like a tourist. I hurry to take out my camera but it's always too late. Everything is blurred.
I have been known to climb into fountains and drown dramatically confessing a great undying love. Dramatically is my cue. To belong often means just keep going. Hello. I'm in the kitchen, opening a lettuce head right down the middle. Don't be afraid. A lettuce head is not a dead rabbit and I will not try to seduce you with looks and then chop you into little pieces and eat you.
When I look in the mirror I always feel like a tourist. I hurry to take out my camera but it's always too late. Everything is blurred.
on implementing the foreign object
What I mean is I feel like shouting (read whisper): “Wrap me in non-recyclable plastic because I'm real!” What I mean is I feel like whispering (read shout): “Wrap me in real because I'm plastic fantastic!” Feel like being cool about it. What I mean is, I guess. What I mean is, I feel.
What I mean is I feel like shouting (read whisper): “Wrap me in non-recyclable plastic because I'm real!” What I mean is I feel like whispering (read shout): “Wrap me in real because I'm plastic fantastic!” Feel like being cool about it. What I mean is, I guess. What I mean is, I feel.
I dreamed I was in the great German filmmaker's living room laying on the floor and the great German filmmaker lit a cigarette and said: “Do you come here often?”
When I run over an edge I refuse to look down and keep running. Beep beep. I keep running because your shadow is too big to understand in just one way. Then I bleed through the frames of all the cartoons and onto your side of the bed. You say: “You better clean up that mess.” And I say: “I'm sorry.” And you say: "That's what everybody says."
When I run over an edge I refuse to look down and keep running. Beep beep. I keep running because your shadow is too big to understand in just one way. Then I bleed through the frames of all the cartoons and onto your side of the bed. You say: “You better clean up that mess.” And I say: “I'm sorry.” And you say: "That's what everybody says."
I like to go up to a stranger and ask them for the password and when they say “what password?” I will say “no that's not it” and there will be no turning back then and I'll pretend to have a gun in my pocket and will have to kidnap the stranger and take him/her home with me and cook for him/her
In some small caresses there are huge sledgehammers and in some sledgehammers the world's smallest violin bow is held prisoner.
Help!
My love wears no raincoat.
My love can be measured in many toasters. Hear my ashes tremble. This is my love.
In some small caresses there are huge sledgehammers and in some sledgehammers the world's smallest violin bow is held prisoner.
Help!
My love wears no raincoat.
My love can be measured in many toasters. Hear my ashes tremble. This is my love.
when the climax approaches being the furniture helps said Marlon Brando
In a perfect world it will be possible to say yes and no at the same time. In a perfect world God will come running because somebody is always drowning and everything will be in slow-motion and God will pull me (you) out of the water and ask: “Are you (me) all right?” And I (you) will say nothing so that God will have to put his lips on mine (yours) and breathe for me (you). Then I (you) will wake up. God (everybody), is that really you (me)?
In a perfect world it will be possible to say yes and no at the same time. In a perfect world God will come running because somebody is always drowning and everything will be in slow-motion and God will pull me (you) out of the water and ask: “Are you (me) all right?” And I (you) will say nothing so that God will have to put his lips on mine (yours) and breathe for me (you). Then I (you) will wake up. God (everybody), is that really you (me)?
animated extra feature
We could make paradise real again. We could take away all the animal's names and start over. That would be pretty wow don't you think? We could be kicked by many cows.
We could make paradise real again. We could take away all the animal's names and start over. That would be pretty wow don't you think? We could be kicked by many cows.
dvorak versus mendelssohn
One day it's nothing and then: “I want to fucking tie you up and leave you alone in a dark room for hours. I want to watch Jeopardy in the other room while you lay alone in a dark room for hours. Piss on the sheets. When you cry I will remind you to always answer with a question. Crying is not a question. I'll hang out and read a book, not a good book either but a bad book and talk for hours on the phone. I'll make long distance calls. I'll call your mom about that recipe. I'll cook the fucking recipe and have the girls over for a girl's night. It will be loads of fun. They'll come in and laugh and I'll say: “see what I have to put up with?”"
One day it's nothing and then: “I want to fucking tie you up and leave you alone in a dark room for hours. I want to watch Jeopardy in the other room while you lay alone in a dark room for hours. Piss on the sheets. When you cry I will remind you to always answer with a question. Crying is not a question. I'll hang out and read a book, not a good book either but a bad book and talk for hours on the phone. I'll make long distance calls. I'll call your mom about that recipe. I'll cook the fucking recipe and have the girls over for a girl's night. It will be loads of fun. They'll come in and laugh and I'll say: “see what I have to put up with?”"
